Letting Go: Embrace the New

When a shift in our life occurs, we grow unsettled.  Especially when the shift brings about a new outlook in who we thought we were.  We are now on a different part of the self-discovery journey.

Have you ever experienced a shift in your identity?

This can occur because our children leave home.  It can happen because we experience the loss of a parent.  It can happen when we stop practicing a destructive behavior or living out a negative belief.  A shift in who we are is taking place and, often, it is uncomfortable because with this change comes a future that is unclear.

I remember when I got a divorce.  I was no longer a wife.  There was a change going on with my identity.  What I soon discovered was how much of my personhood was connected to this title/role “wife.”  Now who was I going to be and do?  What would this mean to me and for the world in which I live?

Survival Mode

The separation and divorce I went through pushed me into survival mode.   My biggest fear became “How was I going to take care of myself?” 

What I did?  I started manipulating and reaching for anything that would help me feel “safe” in spite of the consequences.  It wasn’t good.  Gratefully, as I moved towards my new identity as a single woman, I found some peace.

 

For those of us in recovery, we, at some point, make a shift from living our lives in survival mode to a life of calmness and composure. 

In survival mode, we had to eat what was put in front of us, wear what was available and go where we could to get our emotional, physical and, yes, sexual needs met.  But now, in recovery, after some sanity has been restored, we can exhale.  We can relax a bit.

Although there is still a mess to clean up, there is hope on the horizon.

The Transition

Naturally, moving from survival mode to calmness comes with stable housing, a sense of financial security, a community of friends and, if we are lucky, restoration of familial relationship too.  Some people stop here.  Other people secure jobs, cars, retirement plans and much more.  It is especially delightful to see people take control of their physical health too.

But are we digging deep enough?

Are we addressing the negative beliefs and behaviors that sustained while in survival mode?

Are we willing to let go of manipulation, greed and lying to live at peace with God and our fellow brothers and sisters?

The Challenge to Change

It is one thing to say we are changing.  But are we really releasing the “old self” that functioned in survival mode? Or, are we choosing to live as an empowered “Self,” in charge of our choices and pursuing the destiny God has revealed for our lives?

“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

The challenge is to go the extra mile.  To change and evolve and prosper into the existence God has called for us.

Settling for poor health, broken relationships and bitter, cluttered spirits is not God’s will.  We must, we can be willing to let go of what doesn’t work for our lives and embrace those things that affirm who we are as people and children of God.

What am I talking about?  I am talking about being your best you.  I am talking about releasing those attitudes that don’t serve you well.

What does this mean?

It means we are saying yes to God.  We are positioning ourselves to cooperate with God to do His work and represent Him in every area of our lives.  We let go of old behaviors and beliefs in exchange for healthier ideas, attitudes and behaviors. 

In the process of change occurring in our insides, our own perception of who we see ourselves to be, it is important to remember who we are in the foundation of our existence. 

Our foundation is rooted in us being human first, with a set of basic needs that we desire to have fulfilled.  When we are hurting or in a transition phase, we still desire to have those needs met – but it is important to find new ways to meet those needs because we are in the process of “letting go.”  Letting go of what does not work, letting go of people who have exited the center stage of our lives, letting go of the past.

M

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, in the precious name of Jesus, I thank you for self-discovery. You have already suggested my steps. Allow me to embrace this journey and walk in faith.  I no longer want to be held back to what was and what will be.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I was lost, unsure and confused, but it’s something about the name of Jesus that has brought me peace. As I continue to walk in this journey, God, please open my eyes so I can see.  Enhance my hearing so I can hear You give me the wisdom necessary to know the Your will for my life and the proper attitudes and behaviors.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

BDB