Anchored: In Times Like These

In times like these, you need a Savior

In time like these, you need an anchor

Be very sure, yes be very sure

Your anchor holds and grips the solid rock

 ~

Words and Music to In Times Like These

by Ruth Caye Jones

It is difficult to begin a relationship with God while in the basement of psychological and emotional pain.  How can one find a way to trust God when all hope is lost and all that was lost is gone?

Difficult, hard and problematic to say the least. 

I understand the conundrum because when I was in my emotional basement, I was angry at God, questioning the love She said she had towards me.  I was also suspicious of what She said was her nature as a good, merciful and faithful God. 

How, when in a fetal position of depression and paralyzed in my bed, could I turn my thoughts towards trusting God when nothing seemed to be going right in my life?  It is in these difficult times, I need a Savior.  Not a human crutch or just a medicinal fix.  I need a Divine Savior.

I found that to anchor my soul in a tight grip on God to be an act of courageous humility and blind faith.

You see, for me, having a relationship with God is better than not having a relationship with a Divine Power greater than myself.  At least, when I get angry, sad, depressed and upset, I have something to direct those energies toward. 

And, when I am joyful, happy, and playful and mischief, I enjoy the other side of this relationship that tends to bring the same ups and downs common to connecting with others.

           

On this particular day, I am grateful the God I love can’t be swayed or manipulated by my temper tantrums, selfish demands or bouts of sadness.  When my anger turns inward, God is there to remind me to be loving towards myself, gentle, patient and tolerant towards me.  After all, God is those things toward me.  Why can’t I be those things towards myself?

I am forever humbled by my parents and the faith community they raised me in who pointed me towards a God who is greater than I.  This God is big enough, tough enough and wise enough to gently handle me -- remembering I am dust, created in His image and subject to bouts of mania, depression, anxiety and unrealistic expectations regarding my reality.

           

Yet, Her love remains.  It is sure.  It is steadfast and it is eternal. 

            Her presence is my life anchors me.  What I mean is, God’s presence and loving guidance allow my life to have a specific, unique meaning.  A starting and ending point for all philosophical musings, theological wrangling and specific, unique idiosyncrasies. 

It fact, the more life stuff I go through, the more curious I become about His nature.  This helps me remain hopeful because there is nothing about me that God can’t handle.  I am accepted, affirmed and loved – no matter what!

I find hope in this God who created me in His image and tells me, “You belong to me.  I created you, I love you and I will never leave you or abandon you.”

           

My soul finds comfort and peace in our interactions.

           

When tears stream down my face, they fall into a bucket of raindrops – received, nourished and wiped away ever so gently because God really does care for me.  When no one else on earth seems to care about me, respect me, honor me or help me, God lets me know He cares.  And, then God will send someone along to demonstrate just how much he cares.

            My soul is resting.  It is just a blessing.  Praise God, I am free to be me, loved and anchored in the Master’s hands.

Be blessed,

M

A New Era of Existence
It’s Okay to Take Care of Me

… anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! (2 Cor. 5:17 MSG)

An initial understanding of being new in Christ prompted me to believe that I could be perfect right away.  No doubt, this misinterpretation was my own, but certainly fueled by a variety of Christian messages and teachings.

However, in a quest for perfectionism, I began harming myself psychologically by trying to achieve unrealistic, self-imposed expectations.  There wasn’t any room in my thinking for me to be human.

My truth is that living a new way of life happened because I began to understand what didn’t work.  And, since the old ways of coping with life and interacting with people didn’t work, it was up to me to change.  I had to learn how to rely on God to lead me into a new type of awareness.

Now, there are certainly people who believe we don’t need “outside” help to become better people.  However, that is not my truth.  I need, and welcome, the insight of therapists, sociologists, books, music and a variety of other resources to become the best person possible.

In my search for living life in ways that affirm my existence and feed my soul, I discovered some important truths:

1.   It is okay to self-affirm.  Gone is the need to blindly harm the self and its delicate soul.  It is time to nurture, embrace and discover who I am genuinely and give myself some long-neglected, well-deserved, undivided attention.

2.   It is okay to love me.   As a society, we have been taught that self-love is narcissistic and unacceptable.  We have delivered a message that we are too focused on the self and should, in turn, help others so we don’t become self-absorbed.  That is true.  But it is also true that some of us, those of us who suffer from internal brokenness and various forms of woundedness, are unable and ill-equipped to encourage and accept others until we learn how to encourage and accept ourselves.  We are the ones who have no idea how to like ourselves, embrace ourselves and minister to our own soul.  That’s how abusing drugs and ignoring one’s mental health becomes a common practice.

3.   It is okay to take care of me before I try to take care of you.  As I pursue wholeness, I had to begin identifying what I really wanted.  For instance, I want friends, but I am unwilling to let anyone make me take care of them emotionally when I need care emotionally.  I know from costly past experiences that caring for others before caring for me doesn’t work, harms me and leads me into finding new ways to harm myself.  It’s a new season.  I’m not anyone’s superwoman, but I am certainly a Christian.

Love you neighbor as you love yourself is true.  However, much more emphasis has been placed on loving the neighbor once a person becomes a Christian.  And, any signs of external self-care that border on vanity or flaunting of one’s wealth or beauty is frowned upon too.

In reality, flaunting one’s wealth or beauty is really a sign of brokenness.  It is possibly a sign that someone is trying to cover up an internal sense of lack, low self-worth or little sense of value to one’s own soul.

Instead, this new season, for me, is about self-discovery, healing through self-care and improving the ways I understand my life experiences. 

How about you – are you experiencing a new era of existence – a new way of interacting with the world that affirms your presence on earth?  If so, please share your comments.

Walls of Silence

Brick-built walls of silence

Seems like they have always been there

From mother to daughter to niece and so on

The language is just not there

Living in walls of silence

I can’t hear what is on your heart

There’s pain and triumph, hurt and loss

We can get past it if we share our thoughts

Sitting on walls of silence

Pondering yesteryear

If onlys won’t make it better

Open dialogue can help the healing begin

Let’s break down the walls of silence

By humbly submitting to one to another, with care

I listen to you

You listen to me

In time, we will know the other cares.

Broken down walls of silence

The healing has begun

Forgiveness, tears, better days ahead

With embraced arms around each other

Love will triumph!