The Call to Transparency

Photographer: Sirylok

It is difficult to determine the level of disclosure necessary to minister to anyone abnormal.

Abnormals are those who don’t fit society’s overall arching definition of normal.  We be the ones (I know it is grammatically incorrect) who are addicts, abusers, familiar with dysfunctional family patterns, and basically live in denial about a lot of things.

Yet, when we seek the help we need, the help we desire, we find it in the lives and voices of those willing to expose themselves.  And we change.

Recently, someone joined me on a social media platform whose identifying marker said they were a forgiven adulterer.  Granted, I tried to see a face with the label/title, but none was found as I did a 10 second search.  Did it really matter what they looked like?  No.

The Cost of Transparency – Freedom from Bondage

The cost for those who live lives in front of the veil is -- we are free.  We are free to not be held captive to the opinions and judgments of the “normals” or those other Christians who act like they never did anything wrong.  Then there are those who know they did wrong, but, with noses high in the air proclaim, “I never went that far.” 

Ok.  So you didn’t have to walk in our shoes.  Kudos.  Congratulations.  Good for you!

But, we are free NOW.  We are also free to be used by God to help others and bring them out.  Equipped with an understanding that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, we are able to think, write and speak boldly of God’s saving grace.  Bipolar, bulimic and recovering from burglary charges, no matter our lot, no matter our sin, we are forgiven, redeemed and accepted.  We all are. 

The Gift of Transparency

A willingness to share our story or parts of our past struggles with others is a gift.  We don’t hide in shame.  We don’t crouch in fear.  We know there are different territories that must be conquered.

Photographer: Membio

Energized, focused and determined, we emerge from cocoons and share our testimonies to equip the Millennials, Generation X and anyone else to push forward, move beyond our pasts and live extraordinary lives.  By sharing, we get to watch other people transform.  What a gift!

With tears in their eyes, the other abnormals, thank us for being honest, open and transparent.  They share their stories with us and we can go deeper into the ministry of reconciling them to a place of peace.

The Rewards of Transparency

Finally, we are free to live joyous lives.  There is a level of joy we can experience and enjoy because we have made peace with our past, let go of the pain and shame associated with our faults and shortcomings in order to rejoice!  We rejoice in God’s love, we rejoice in our freedom from bondage and we rejoice in the improved life granted to those willing to face their past, heal and follow Christ.

Called to be transparent?  I am.  I am not embarrassed although I may not always understand what God wants to do through me.  Yet, I am beginning to hear the testimony of others who are coming out of their own forms of bondage as they say, “Thank you.  You helped me so much.”

In Jesus name,

M

Take the Hit: Moving from Right to Righteousness

Meekness, Mental Health & Ministry

Every fighter knows in order to secure the title “winner” at the end of a boxing match, they have to endure the blows of each punch first.  The referee serves as the authority in the boxing ring. 

Often, life is a boxing match.  Spiritual principles are the ruling authority for some.  For others, Christ is King and His way of living rules and guides our behavior.

 Ser

Sergey Nivens, Photographer

Like a referee, people in positions of power and authority have a duty to execute their assignment with an attitude of meekness.  It’s one way to reduce harmful acts and demonstrate we either a) honor spiritual principles; or b) are following the example left by Christ.

Meekness, in the biblical context, is defined as someone in authority resisting undue harshness towards others.

It is challenging to respond kindly to aggravating treatment.  If aggravating treatment can be defined as anything done to another person to provoke an emotional response, then certainly, life offers many opportunities to deal with aggravating treatment.  When we get hit with a slur, sarcasm or a perceived slight in any form, we want to hit back.  When a spouse forgets something we deem important or a child disobeys a directive, we want to gruffly react.  It’s a natural, human response to a punch.

Yet, to define oneself as spiritual, when responding to these types of actions in our daily life, kindness and a demonstration of self-control are mechanisms of meekness.

This discussion is prompted by the text in Matthew which reads that Jesus entered the final phase of his assignment with an attitude of meekness.  (Matthew 21:4-5)  The word birthed a curiosity within my mind, so I embarked on a study of the word and the context in which it was read during Holy Week.  Certainly, my spiritual curiosity pushed me into new levels of personal awareness and professional responsibility I feel compelled to share.

Especially since it is easy for me to excuse my own tough behavior with an explanation of my family’s legacy of speaking harshly to people.  Our direct style of communication, combined with a lack of tact (kindness, humility and benevolence) impacts the message and reflection of the Christ seen in me.  It speaks to how I personally and professionally represent the importance of spiritual principles.

Therefore, understanding that Jesus purposely (Luke 9:51) traveled towards Jerusalem to die amazes me.  Why?  Because he volunteered to 1) complete his assignment; which included 2) being mistreated.  And for the reader who says, like me sometimes, this guy was divine!  How could anything he experienced compare to what I have to deal with on earth??!!  I understand. 

In fact, I believe Jesus was lucky enough to die once.  He only dealt with dying on the cross once.  In my lifespan, I can count at least three cross experiences that have left me feeling weak, useless and filled with shame.  I then tell myself, it is impossible for me to follow his example.

But I can. 

That said, meekness is the ability to deal with troubling circumstances, control one’s response and make sure others are not hurt by our power and leadership.  Sounds easy enough, right?

It was easy for me and can be on any given day.  According to an article I read on “Meekness and Moral Anger,” by Glen Pettigrove, meekness is a virtue that is valuable and vital.  In fact, I spent the week thinking how Jesus’ ministry would have looked if he was NOT meek.  What if he would have responded harshly to the woman with the issue of blood or to the Roman authority whose daughter was sick?  Would he still have been attractive to follow?  Am I attractive to work with now?

 

Sergey Nivens, Illustrator

If one’s mental health/mental capabilities are so out of balance that we can’t control how we respond (not react) to the world in which we live, we destroy the message of recovery, hope and respect for human lives for those who are watching on the sidelines.

The addict, the unbeliever, the whoremonger, the thief, all are watching me and you to see if they should pursue a different kind of life.  That’s why regularly cleansing our soul of troubling thoughts and emotions to keep our vessels clean and pure for the spiritual task at hand is so important.

I love the way Pettigrove says that,

“The meek person is slow to anger and is not prone to resent others, to desire their suffering, or to take pleasure in their distress. To say that the meek person is not quickly or easily provoked is not necessarily to say that he is never provoked. Certainly the meek are much slower to anger than persons with “a warm and angry [t]emper,” and they are less easily provoked than the common run of humanity.  

On those rare occasions when the meek become angry, they do not remain angry for long. And in the brief period during which they are feeling angry, they refrain from showing it in their actions, refusing to treat others in ways that express their hostile emotions.  (Pettigrove, 344)

I am equipped to do that.  God empowered me in this way before. 

Being in charge as a parent, child care worker, supervisor or homeless shelter outreach technician requires we have the inner hidden strength of character and humility of Christ to execute our duties ethically and benevolently. 

If I don’t feel good because of external or internal circumstances, it is my responsibility to properly manage those issues in ways that do not impact the people I touch. 

Surely, I am not the only one who falls short in this area.  In fact, the reason I am sharing this spiritual awakening is because as humans we talk about our victories and accomplishments often, but rarely share how we successfully overcome the liabilities in our character, which impact our personhood. 

That said, let’s walk not just in the authority of our roles, but also in the kindness and benevolence of Christ.  In this way, we demonstrate meekness no matter whether people sing our praises or not.  And, God gets the glory and is declared (once again) the real winner behind our actions.

Be blessed.

Works Cited

Pettigrove, Glen.  Ethics. Jan2012, Vol. 122 Issue 2, p341-370. 30p. (3 April 2015)