Finding Wellness in Acceptance

After all the sorrow one can feel inside and all the blame thrown at God, the psalmist surrenders.

This surrender is also a humble, quiet reality check where he admits, “This is my anguish. This is my lot in life.”

I’ve been dealing with this particular situation (this anguish, adversity, and affliction) for quite some time now and I’m tired.  I surrender. 

His soul refused to be comforted maybe because he had an illness or form of trouble that would not be altered.  Long-term disability is a modern-day term.  Thorn in the flesh is a theological descriptor.  “Pain in the butt situation” in another way to say it too.

The chances of relief – complete deliverance, assurance of salvation -- seem to not exist.

Truth:  As Christians, we want to believe that God will rescue us and fix every situation.  The truth is, God does not!  It is the truth and you know it.  There are some situations we just have to accept.

This Bible passage proves it.  Psalm 77:10-15.  The psalmist surrenders and says, this is my lot, my place of suffering in life.  Yet, he also says, “But in spite of this truth, God has been good…”

Yes he does want to be well, (comforted is the Hebrew word) but he admits it is not going to happen – at least not today, if at all.    So instead, he finds comfort is God’s past acts.  He finds comfort in the memories of God’s past acts.  He says, “I will focus on the years gone by when God has been good in other areas of life, even if I don’t see his hand in this area…I want to be comforted, but in case I don’t get comfort…it is okay.”

This is my anguish – this is what I have to deal with.  Emotionally and intellectually, even theologically, the writer wrestles with God.  Then, he finds comfort in remembering.  I remember all the mighty, wonderful, powerful things God has done over the years. 

He remembers and talks about God’s painful deeds, God’s wonders (extraordinary, hard to be understood dealings with your people) and God’s actions.

The psalmist says, “I remember your works.”  How you delivered me from trouble, fed me, comforted my emotions (you name it).  In fact, I will meditate (thoughtfully consider each incident) of past works.  They are so wonderful, complicated and extraordinary, I have no choice but to talk of your deeds.  “I gotta tell others what you have done because you have done some great, great acts.”

Your way is the best way (v. 13 – your way is in the sanctuary).  Is there anyone so great as you?  No.  You are the great God.

You do wonders man can’t comprehend.  I can’t comprehend. 

You declare you strength whenever you act in ways of wonder.

Everyone can see your strength, if they acknowledge the wonders they see as you performing miracles.

You, and only you, redeem people. 

Alcoholics stop drinking.  Gamblers managing their money.  People who watch porn regaining right relationship with people in society.  These are your wonderful acts of redemption.

Summation

Do you want to be well?  Are you willing to find comfort in God?  It is possible after being self-absorbed and stuck in a pity party if we are willing to come out of the funk to remember and acknowledge God’s past acts and, in doing that, we reaffirm our faith and our own sense of powerlessness under the Mighty Hand of God.  

How to Live the Good Life

Emotional Health is a Biblical and Secular Concept

3 John 1:2

Theological terms such as mind, body, soul and spirit can leave us confused as to which one refers to our emotional well-being.  After careful research, here is what I found:

3 John 1:2 reads that the writer is praying for his friend’s body to be as healthy as his soul.  There is an assumption in this text that the soul (feelings, will, desires for power, sex and satisfaction) is as healthy as the body.  In fact, the reference is to the person being holistically viewed and not just from a spiritual, “yes, you need salvation from sin” perspective.

We make the same assumptions today.  If someone looks good on the outside, they must be well internally.  However, all that external glitz and glam can also be a cover-up for internal shame, impulsive buying behavior and/or creative ways of avoiding self.

This week the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration honors National Wellness Week.  Twellness covers eight areas of a person’s life:  emotional, occupational, financial, spiritual, physical, social, intellectual and environmental.  Their belief is that a person enjoys overall a healthier life (socially and physically) when they experience wellness in each of these areas.

his agency believes

This does not mean we won’t struggle to feel good sometimes.  There are plenty biblical examples of temporary depression and anxiety.  David, Job and Jeremiah all cried out to God, in written form, to express their sorry, despair, lack of lust for life and other emotional down points to the God of their understanding. 

They knew God would listen.  They also knew God would comfort. These examples are proof that humanity needs emotional care too.  They prove we can trust God, believe in God and still be sad and troubled sometimes.

In the African-American church, it is common for parishioners to seek emotional support from pastors instead of psychiatrists or psychologists.  In a world that advertises more and more attention on the emotional well-being of individuals, how has the church approached this subject?  Anxiety, depression and other emotional maladies can restrict a person’s ability to properly process and handle a variety of life circumstances.  The Michael Brown incident in Ferguson, Missouri is just once example of how external circumstances can throw a person into a season of anxiety and/or sadness.

Can the church provide support and comfort too?  Not just on Sunday mornings but through the week?  Is it willing to employ and secure trained counselors, psychologists and/or therapists to help diagnose and guide people into a healthier place emotionally?

Interestingly enough, that the historical context of 3 John references how Christian love is demonstrated.  The writer states it is through hospitality and support – putting the needs of others before one’s own needs – as a true reflection of Christ’s love demonstrated on the cross.

Yet, often when an emotional despondent person presents in the worship experience, church leaders want to immediately usher them into healing versus addressing the emotional issue itself.  Is it possible this particular individual has a history of depression or being anxious about small things?  If so, what has the person done in the past to secure more self-control in their lives?  Have they seen a therapist?  Have they tried medication?  Have they tried changing their personal home environment to establish a more safe and secure physical existence?

Maybe one of the reasons believers can’t prosper in their financial situation is because they haven’t addressed their emotional response to living itself.  Impulsive behavior, a by-product of anxiety, leads to financial instability and, for some people, unexpected trips to jail.  If anyone impulsively buys clothes or hits someone who makes them angry, these are the consequences to their actions.

Stable living is a byproduct of a healthy life.  Yes, this includes an emotionally healthy life too.  In 3 John 1:3, the writer says he is proud his friend’s life “stays clean and true and continues to live by the standards of the Gospel.”  But, his friend is able to do so because he takes care of himself mind, body, soul and spirit.

A successful recovery, a stable life is built on a solid, healthy internal foundation.  The eight areas of SAMHA are one view.  The biblical perspective is another.  But the truth remains, you can’t build a brick house on quicksand. 

Achieving a sense of balance and wellness begins with stable emotions, good health and sound decision making practices.  Most likely, the more support a person has socially, the more successful they are to achieve wellness in all areas of their life.

Accepting Limitations Placed On You By Bipolar Disorder

Accepting Limitations Placed On You By Bipolar Disorder

I think it is wonderful social media is a safe place to learn about other people with similiar mental health challenges.

When I tell people I turn into a pumpkin at 9 p.m., they kind of look at me strange.  I started saying it about 5-7 years ago.  Now, I know why.

Hopefully, this article will help you understand why people like me work so hard to achieve wellness.  It is how we practice loving ourselves.

Be blessed,
M

Mothering the Child Within at Every Stage of Life

Mothering Our Inner Child

Remembering moments of motherly love can bring reminders of a mother’s tender care, balanced with thoughts of her firm words of correction.   Fortunately, my mother is still alive.  Remembering her on Mother’s Day forth a variety of feelings and memories.  However, my mother’s day was mostly spent wondering how mothering the Child within is an important practice to pamper the mind, body, soul and spirit.  In fact, it is one way to empower yourself.

One Moment of me Mothering the Child Within

What does a mother do? Before she becomes a mother, she receives an impartation to bring forth life.  Something catches her eye, tickles her mind or heightens her awareness and she opens up to receive.  To celebrate the special moment that life began, she nurtures and cares for herself and the unborn Child within.  Eventually, life comes forth.

When we tend to our inner Self, we are mothering the child within.  We are honoring our own lives, empowering ourselves and continuing to walk on the path of wellness.

Today, have you positively impacted the Child within?  Balanced living includes stepping back to rejuvenate, restore and reconnect with our own needs.  We still need inspiration and attention.  Our Inner Child doesn't disappear as we age.  No, she is within and needs to be encouraged, nurtured, heard and able to enjoy moments of tender care for the Self. 

Does the mother in you care for her Inner Child?  Healthy mothering looks like tender, careful, patient attention to the complete needs of the child.  When mothering the Self, the first assignment is to discover the need.  Any form of discomfort can be a signal that we are not at ease.  For infants, a cry signals a wet diaper or loneliness.  How does your Inner Child send signals of dis-ease?  How do you know when your Inner Child needs motherly attention?

Mothering the Child within requires developing the ability to listen to the Self.  Often, an attentive ear is needed to hear the gentle nudge requesting attention of some sort.  Even a belly ache, slowly healing sore or unexpected tears are signs that a moment of care is needed.  Are you paying attention?  Are you mothering you?

Sweet smelling candles and bubble baths are one way to nurture and caress the body.  But what habitual, healthy practices are in place to soothe the mind, inspire the spirit or calm the nerves? Shopping is rarely healthy, although habitual.  The spirit also needs to hear words that encourage, inspire, comfort and challenge.  The eyes need to drink in powerful images that spark joy, wonder and reflection.  These words or visuals can prompt thoughts or actions to awaken lost dreams long forgotten.  Are you mothering you?

Certainly mother's day is a special day.  For many, it is cause for celebration.  For some, it brings forth horrid memories and uncomfortable truths.  Regardless of what that day does for you, remember to mother you.  You do it for you.  At some point, every one of us had a mother.  Let’s continue to nurture the gift of life that she gave.  Let’s continue mothering the Child within in order to capture wellness in heart, mind and soul.