Demonstrating Self-Care: How we Choose to Care for our Bodies

I showed up at work one day and saw a familiar face.  This face has no name, but I see it often in the town where I live.  On this day, the unknown man had two legs. 

The next time I saw him, he had one leg.  He was on crutches and one of his pant’s legs was pinned up because there was not a leg to fill the space.  It was at that moment, I realized with both shock and horror, that my diabetes is not going away.  I was really scared now.

The Truth

Diabetes kills more Americans every year than AIDS and breast cancer combined.

I am not a fan of statistics, but they do make a good point.  The above statement tells me a few things:

1.       Diabetes is a deadly disease;

2.       Many people don’t take care of this disease; and

3.       I will die, along with many other people, if I don’t take care of my health.

The Point

What I want to convey in this post is accepting we have a medical condition is the first step in recovery.  Once we accept the poor condition of our physical health, we can do something – good or bad – that could change the course of our lives.

Recovery

When I think about recovery in terms of bouncing back from abusing drugs or alcohol, I think about victory, success and freedom.  Defining the word recover mean understanding the prefix, re-, which stands for “again.”  The Latin root of the word recover is “to get again.”  According to Google, “recover” means to return, again, to a normal state of health, mind or strength.

At what point did we have a “normal” state of health, mind or strength?  That is a question that only you can answer.  But, if we were once in a good place with our physical, mental and emotional health – spiritual too – it stands to reason we can return there.

Now, going back to good health after years of self-abuse requires work.  A commitment to work.  A commitment to demonstrate to ourselves that we love and care for ourselves.  This is deeper than having the latest fashion outfit or knowing how to talk the coolest slang.  This is about life or death.  This is about living as long as we can, as best we can.

It is one thing to dress up the outside and spew prophetic words of encouragement to friends and family on Facebook and at family reunions. 

But it is something totally different to practice being good to ourselves after receiving news from the doctor that we have diabetes, cancer or some other tragic diagnosis.

The Road to Recovery

My experience tells me that every time I have ever tried to recover, I had to begin by accepting my poor condition and deciding to do something about it.  You too.

We must accept that we did a lot of damage with those poor choices in the early days of life.  In the process of acceptance, there is anger, confusion, denial, depression and, for some of us, defeat.

Then what?

Then, we have a choice to make. 

Do we cooperate with the illness?  Accept the diagnosis of poor health and agree to die quickly?  (Go to the bitter end of leg amputations, kidney failure and death.)

Or, do we do our best to re-cover?  Do we do our best to learn how to do some things different and live healthier lives?   To commit to try and regain some sense of good health and inner peace with who and what we are as we transition into the later stages of life?

These are important questions.  But they are also questions that demand answers.  And, don’t think that if you don’t answer the question, you have not made a decision.  No.  We make decisions daily to act in our best interest or as our own worst enemy.

Please don’t think I am preaching at you.  I am talking and writing for myself as well.

I am writing to inspire myself to do my very best by me.  I am writing to inspire you to do better in how you treat you. 

My motive for writing is to encourage you to use your God-given gift of intelligence to educate yourself on your illness and do what you can to be well.  (I can’t define your wellness, but you can.)

My Journey

When I got through the stage of depression about my diagnosis of diabetes, I decided to FINALLY research reversing the condition.  I came across a book called The Blood Sugar Solution, by Dr. Mark Hyman.  It changed my health.

What have you done to change your condition in life? 

What barriers prevent you from being the best you that you can be at this age of your life?

Living in the Solution

I have found in my many journeys into recovery, that a supportive community helps.  I joined Dr. Mark Hyman’s Facebook community of people seeking to reverse their diabetes.  I got rid of foods that made me sick and began to stock up and reach for foods that would make me healthier.

Granted, there is much work to do, but what I am learning is this – I must make good choices DAILY for my health.  I must practice what I teach to those who know me by continuing to educate myself about my health, take personal responsibility for my health and advocate for myself to get what I need. 

You can do this too.  So, get busy loving on you in ways that glorify God and the beautiful temple he has given you called – your body.

Be blessed,

M

Black Panther: One Addict’s Ray of Hope

As you can probably imagine, I just viewed the movie Black Panther.  There are a number of adjectives to describe the powerful impact this movie had on my psychological and spiritual identities.  However, this reflection will only focus on one subject...gently dealing with self and others. 

The themes of love, patriotism, family, forgiveness, hatred and power are just a few that resonate in the movie’s portrayal of a black comic strip icon called the Black Panther.  Since I never read the comic books, the movie certainly prompts me to give them a glance.

However, there was one particular scene in the movie that stood out for me.  Allow me to set up the context of my mind and the movie’s scene.

Having recently gone over a sixth step with my sponsor, I am keenly aware of my character defects.  If you are reading this and are not familiar with the recovery movement, let me say this:  all 12-step programs encourage the recovering person to look at who they are, as best they can, and move to a higher level of self-awareness and accountability to God, self and mankind.  (That’s the easiest, shortest way to explain it.)

The sixth step is a difficult step for any recovering person to complete.  The recovering person gets to look at the ugliest characteristics of their personhood.  Without revealing my own traits, I will say this step leaves you feeling humble, humiliated and very AWARE of who you are in a negative light. 

This morning, I pondered the thought that no matter how much I want/wanted to do the right thing with my life and for others involved in my life, I still made mistakes.  Absolutely, no one, and I do mean, no one, is perfect.  Even the Bible underscores this fact by stating, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  (Romans 3:23-27)

Then I remembered an intimate moment on the phone with one of my adult children.  This particular adult broke down in tears when I carefully explained that their behavior in one particular work incident was unacceptable.  This child’s response was, “I just want to be perfect.”

But as the movie reminded me today, “No [wo]man is perfect.”  The lead character of the movie was feeling dismayed, angry and disappointed about a huge mistake his father had made.  In an effort to calm the character’s anger, his friend/lover responded, “No man is perfect.”

The truth is, we all make mistakes.  Whether intentional or not, our mistakes, regardless of their motives, cause the world to deal with the consequences of our actions. 

But we all make mistakes.  We can be angry at ourselves and others for these mistakes, but that doesn’t change the fact that they happened.  So, with enough time and energy, it is important to love on ourselves in spite of who we are – when ugly or pretty.  Be gentle to yourself.  And while you are at it, be gentle with others.  No man is perfect.

Just as the movie reminded me today, though, I have a choice.  We all have a choice. 

We can either live in the regret and remorse of the mistake, ignore the wrong or do our best to make things better.

Doing my sixth step left me feeling bad about many things.  Yet, I silently resolved to do my best to be a better person in the days and weeks ahead.  The movie, thank God, afforded me the opportunity that when I try to do the right thing for the right reasons, things may not go smoothly, but they will get better…for a lot of people.

So, my words of encouragement today are this:  be real about who you are and what you have done.  Work diligently to be the better person you desire to be.  If you have to clean up your own mess or someone else’s, do so with grace, diligence and a heart of compassion towards yourself and others.

In this way, we can make the world a better place.

Be blessed,

Michelle

Each piece falls into place

“As I look back over my life, and I think things over, I can truly say, that I’ve been blessed, I’ve got a testimony.”  Black spiritual

Triumphs, victories and conquests are joyous to experience.  Trauma, trials and tribulations are difficult to bear and unwelcomed events.  Yet both work together to shape us into the beautiful, strong, resilient beings God intended.

When things go wrong, and life seems difficult, the broken pieces of our life seem irreparable.  We just can’t seem to imagine how “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

Rarely do we think of our lives as puzzles.  With effort, any puzzle can be pieced together.  But, as with any puzzler, it takes effort, diligence and consistency to view the final product. 

When we can’t seem to piece together the fallen and out of sort pieces of our lives, because of hurt, pain or sickness, our sense of safety is threatened. 

What is most important to remember is that God’s Word states that all things, all pieces of our life puzzle, work together for good. 

Each piece of our life, good, bad, difficult or baffling, is a piece of the puzzle designed to shape and form a complete design.  It is the same way with our lives.  As we strive to overcome illnesses, achieve goals and pursue excellence, we are being shaped and made into a beautiful design created and crafted by God.

Don’t despair.  If the pieces of your life seem to have fallen apart, remember, there is a God willing to guide you into how to know, discern and become aware of which piece to pick up and try to fit it into God’s divine plan.

Trust God.

Honoring Recovery

National Recovery Month

September is National Recovery Month.  Recovery is about exercising one’s determination to improve from a physical, mental or emotional condition, often referred to as the disease of addiction/alcoholism.  Since the DSM-V lists these diseases as forms of mental illness, I would argue it is safe to say we can recover from mental illnesses this month too.

Can this happen without God consciousness?  Some would argue, “Yes.” 

I disagree.

Around the 1300s, the word “recover” meant to “regain consciousness.”  Back in the early 15^th century, the word recovery had a different meaning too.  It meant “a gaining possession of something by legal action.”  That is the Latin meaning of the term “recovery” according to the Online Etymology Dictionary.  Even more interesting is what the dictionary says next – “the act of righting oneself after a mishap, blunder, etc.”

A successful, peace-filled existence is certainly dependent on a person’s relationship to God.  Nowadays we call it, “God consciousness.”  And for those who profess knowing Christ, it is through His power we can right ourselves after making poor decisions or surviving childhood trauma.

Author: Andy Dean Photography

What if, as a society, we embraced the idea that we are spiritual beings intended to live our lives conscious of God’s presence?  What if this idea were taught in schools today?  Or, if it were a mandatory lesson in each home? 

Maybe there would be less adverse childhood events for people to recover from because their daily existence would be rooted in the awareness that God is ever present and seeking our daily communion.

An awareness of God operating in one’s life and on my behalf can be a comforting thought.  Some people, however, blame God for all their troubles, so forming a relationship with the Divine Source can be troublesome.

Often, it is the message of hope from other people that draws us into a solid relationship with God.  Hearing God through other people happens when people share in meetings or testify in church that their lives improved because they surrendered and formed a relationship with God.  It is here, in these safe spaces listening to the transparency of another’s soul that recovery is accomplished.  Finding God, many times, is sustained in a group context, such as 12-step programs, faith communities and other safe spaces. 

In these places, a broken soul can begin the journey to regain what was lost:  peace, stability, sanity and a sense of wholeness.

Our identities are often damaged during childhood, not strengthened.  The field of psychology refers to “adverse childhood events” as the cause of brokenness and poor identity formation.  For those of us who have suffered damaged self-identities due to adverse childhood events, reclaiming possession of our thoughts from negative influences is a huge step in the right direction.  Beginning to create a self-identity that is in harmony with one’s personal values and morals is a joyous and arduous process.  It is labeled as recovery.

The same can be said when we stop harmful acts towards self in order to move into a place of wellness.  Group counseling sessions, medication, bible study, prayer and meditation are great tools to sustain a person’s recovery.  But, often it is the one-on-one relationship with God that lays the foundation and secures emotional stability.   Wrestling with his will, understanding God’s ways and allowing God to guide us into right behavior are certainly examples of God consciousness.

It is important to note that anytime we individually pursue our recovery, we are saying to ourselves, “I have the legal and spiritual right to be happy and live at peace with myself.”  We are in essence telling the disease of addiction and our naysayers that “even in my brokenness, I am worthy of being loved and demonstrating I care for myself.” 

I support National Recovery Month as it seeks to honor those who are recovering from any mental disorder and disease of addiction/alcoholism.  Recovery can be a lifelong process filled with many lessons, let downs and stories.  But when our local and foreign communities support us, they are in essence saying, “I see you growing and it looks good on you.”

Are you doing anything to support anyone in recovery?  If so, please share what you are doing in the comments section below.

Be blessed, 

M

After Thoughts: Christ as Alpha and Omega

Christians believe Christ is The Alpha and Omega.  This means Christ is the beginning and the end.  (Revelation 21:6)  So, when I read about the man at the pool of Bethesda in the fifth chapter of St. John, I am challenged more by Christ’s concluding words to this healed man than I am by the actual healing.

            Christ spoke to the man in the beginning.  Jesus questioned him to about whether or not this man wanted to be healed.  But, after Jesus healed him, the man went on his way.  They ran into each other again and Jesus issued a warning.  Jesus spoke some concluding words to him that were a guide for his conduct in the days ahead.

Context

            Often it is preached that this man had a physical illness preventing him from entering the water and being healed.  If you read the text, the unnamed man is surrounded by other disabled persons and has a reason why he couldn’t get into the stirred water to receive his healing.  But, I heard one preacher say this man had a mental illness that hindered his pursuit towards wellness. 

Yet, what Jesus said to the man after he healed him spark my curiosity.  He told the man, “Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”  (John 5:14)  What was this man’s sin? 

As I study this passage and pondering the effects of mental illness, I am challenged to satisfy my own curiosity.  I have questions about the text, about the man’s “sin,” psychology and theology.  “Hello, Jesus, I need some answers.”  But, I have to admit—this is where I let you down.

            The purpose of this post is not to share my questions or reveal a few answers.  My motive for writing is to clarify a growing belief of mine.  That belief is this:  “We really do know in part.”

Evidence

            Every time the Bible is read, a different lesson and revelation comes forth from its text.  For example, the story of Job brings forth a new understanding each time I read it.  Remember Job is the man who lost his family, possessions and health in a short span of time – let’s say one day.  It is safe to assume he quickly fell into a deep depression and sense of despair after the shock of these losses.  Yet, every time we hear that story and assess it against the backdrop of our own lives, we learn something new about God, Job and ourselves.

            The same can be said for King David.  A man after God’s own heart who committed adultery (at best) with another man’s wife, but also wrote some of the most profound parts of our sacred text known as the Bible.  Every time we examine his life, we discover a new truth, a new way to identify with David’s humanity and a new understanding of the depths of God’s love for us.

Jesus the Teacher
by http://www.kozzi.com/portfolio/index/contributor/2522

            So, why is it that as Christian leaders we think we know all there is to know about the Bible’s stance on mental health matters?  I say, we don’t.

Disease

            In fact, if ever there was an area that needed the combined intelligence of medicine, science, theology and biology, it is when we begin to look at disease.

            As I continue to research, probe and discover what God’s Word says to believers about faith and mental health, I stand in awe of the findings.  On one hand, my heart is saddened by the way we as Christian leaders have overlooked the help offered within the pages of the Bible.  Our closed mind, lazy and lax assumptions about the disease of the mind has been careless and callous.  On the other hand, humanity is known to fear what it doesn’t understand and to vilify what it can’t comprehend.

            Yet, we have reached a place as a society where mental illness cannot be ignored.  Researchers, psychiatrists, psychologists and other professionals are looking at these diseases in all age groups.  Children, teens, young adults and the elderly have been impacted by psychological and biological emotional dysfunction.  What is the church saying to those consumers?  What does the Bible say to the depressed and those filled with despair?

            My research has revealed the Bible has a lot to say.  Although I am encouraged, I am also deeply enlightened, saddened and amazed by both the questions and answers probing my own humanity, mental health, psychological and theological awareness.  These rabbit trail searches are done with an open heart and humble spirit.  They usual end with a deep sense of conviction.

Facts

            What I have learned in the last three years about consumers, like me, that suffer with a mental illness is this:  many of us don’t think we can get better.  Many people have admitted, online, in the comment sections of various blogs and websites that they have been plagued by their conditions for 20, 30 and 40 decades.  When I became aware of the number of people who feel trapped in their despair/condition, I quit reading the comments.  They were too depressing.  I never left believing their was hope for me.

            Christians embrace Jesus Christ as their hope.  But, if we as Christian leaders and ministers of the Gospel are going to help other people, we have to know this one fact:  the diseases known as addiction and mental health tell the consumer they are not sick. 

At the same time, anyone who watches their loved one battle one or both of these diseases is shocked at the patient’s denial.  The family and employers can see the illnesses and experience their consequences.  But the consumer – no light is on inside their brain.  Their brain has been taken hostage, in a sense, by a band of bandits determined to rob the patient of a future.

Concluding thoughts

            How can I take care of myself if I won’t admit I am sick?  I can’t.  Neither can your loved ones.   So, as I use the rigorous honesty 12-step programs say I need to conquer my demons, I must, at the same time, develop a lasting relationship with God.  In this way, and only this way, can I conquer my demons and find my own sense of balance.  Graciously, the Spirit of God that moves within me and my innate curiosity keep me searching for the answers.  But the answers I seek are not just for me.  They are for the families and church leaders that deal with mental health consumers like me.

I ask that you exercise an extra measure of patience towards your loved ones in the same predicament. 

            We, as church leaders and Christians, know in part.  The Bible is full of clues on how to minister to the sick.  If we exercise patience, while continuing to pray, we can minister to needs yet to be revealed.  We can strategically address debilitating thoughts previously unknown.  We can pull down strongholds, demolish illegal spiritual assignments and carry our loved ones, spiritually and physically, into their individual places of healing.

            Trust me, I know many believers don’t understand those who say, “I have a mental illness.”  But our admission is the first step in our healing.  Please refrain from shaming us for our honesty.  Please think twice about silencing us for admitting our particular form of struggle.  And, please, keep supporting us.  We need you in ways you have yet to understand.  Only Jesus knows the beginning and end of our stories.

            Blessings to you and your family.  In Jesus’ name,

M

Sadness and its Purpose

http://www.kozzi.com/portfolio/index/contributor/1

Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.

Eccl 7:3 (NLT)

Sadness and sorrow have an assignment.  They can produce a glad heart.  Seems like an oxymoron, but it is true.

Although sadness is debilitating, lonely and, often, inconsolable—it produces. 

“How is that possible,” you might ask.   What kind of a “wise man” could proclaim in the Bible that sadness/sorrow is better than laughter?  Surely you jest!

(No pun intended.)

This same book in the Bible says laughter is silly, meaningless and reserved for feasts.  You are free to disagree if you wish.

What is more interesting to note is what is said about sorrow.  It says it is better than laughter.  The main point here is sorrow teaches us, laughter pleases us.

What brings about sorrow?  Sickness, wayward children, adverse circumstances related to love, money and relationships – many life situations bring about sorrow and sadness.

But this condition also forces us to ponder life, the decisions we have made, the people we are connected to, the past, the present and the future. 

Remember the story of Hannah in the Bible found in the first book and chapter of Samuel?  She could not have children and was teased because of it.  The teasing and her barren womb produced a sorrow in her heart.  Her face was sad.  She was so sad, that when she went to the temple to pray, the temple priest noticed her sadness.  But Hannah was also proud and arrogant—which, as we know, are unattractive qualities.  (Hannah admits it in the second chapter of 1 Samuel.)

Already sadness is producing.  It prompted Hannah to pray which means it produced humility.  It also produced a willingness in Hannah to communicate with God.

This scripture says that sadness makes the heart glad.  Sadness does something that changes the heart’s condition from one place to another.  Since we normally understand the heart to be the inner essence of a person’s existence, where decision making, wisdom and understanding reside, it is of equal importance to note how we make better decisions after a season of sorrow.  We have an appreciation for the gifts in life that wasn’t there before.

For example, a decision to judge someone is, naturally, wrong.  But, if we find ourselves in the same condition as someone we judged, our face will become sad.  That sad face often produces a sense of isolation which leads to thinking about our actions.  Often, we make a decision not to make the same bad mistake again, because we don’t like the consequences.

It is the same way with an ex-offender.  Stealing often leads to being arrested.  Being arrested means being incarcerated physically.  But psychologically, an offender may also sit in bondage questioning the logic of their actions.  Thus, a new decision is made to pay for future purchases and the heart is now filled with wisdom and understanding.

To make something means to bring it into existence.  What does sadness bring (or make) real?

Sadness produced wisdom.  (I better think about this act before I do it.)

Sadness produces a willingness to do what is right.  (If paying my bills means I will not be in debt, then I will pay my bills.)

Sadness produces a cheerful heart, a joyfulness in the mind.  1 Samuel 2 reveals that God heard and answered Hannah’s prayerful request for a child.  She is now filled with joy and rejoicing in the Lord.

That is not to say that if God doesn’t give us what we want, we can’t rejoice in or after sorrow.  Instead, it means that sometimes God uses adverse situations and difficult people to groom us and refine us.  God needs to take what is useless in our hearts and replace it with something better.

Sadness has produced in me an appreciation for life.  Sorrow has prompted me to examine the health of many past relationships thus producing an awareness of appropriate behavior and boundaries for future relationships.  Thank God for sorrow.

What “better” things has sadness produced in your heart?

Follow...

Follow me AS I follow Christ

If we seek Christ

The worst about us becomes the best in us

Christ uses our weakest, most vile psychological and emotional conditions

As firecracker fuel

To push us and prompt us to seek His face

His comfort and

His peace.

In the seeking, we find

Answers.

We find ourselves.

And then, others find Christ too.

They imitate us.

Author: Iliana Mihaleva

Never mind they avoided us in our worst moments.

Talked about us

Heads shaking and minds

Filled with shameful, hopeless thoughts.

Now, they look at us with skepticism but amazement.

            Wondering why we acted irrationally in the first place

            Unsure if we will really stand the test of the next time…

They imitate us

They silently follow us on Facebook

            In the shadows

            Reading and watching

            Curious

            Maybe unwilling to vouch for the amazing work God is doing

Or boldly supporting the like-minded journey we have lived.

Doesn’t matter.  What matter is…

            The Christ IN us.

Those same folks will

publicly imitate the Christ in us.

Reposting our words

Meditating on our thoughts

Admiring our courage

Borrowing our head wraps, they see…they know.

Just remember…

They are imitating the Christ in us.

That’s why …

We don’t need/demand their public praise or acknowledgments

Accolades or rewards

Because we know it is not of us that we now

Exist

Clothed in our right mind.

It is the Christ in us

So, go ahead…

Follow me AS I follow Christ.

It is only through a humble surrender and submission to God’s unchanging hand, that our lives are a message of hope, freedom, courage and determination.

Be blessed,

M