A New Era of Existence
It’s Okay to Take Care of Me

… anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! (2 Cor. 5:17 MSG)

An initial understanding of being new in Christ prompted me to believe that I could be perfect right away.  No doubt, this misinterpretation was my own, but certainly fueled by a variety of Christian messages and teachings.

However, in a quest for perfectionism, I began harming myself psychologically by trying to achieve unrealistic, self-imposed expectations.  There wasn’t any room in my thinking for me to be human.

My truth is that living a new way of life happened because I began to understand what didn’t work.  And, since the old ways of coping with life and interacting with people didn’t work, it was up to me to change.  I had to learn how to rely on God to lead me into a new type of awareness.

Now, there are certainly people who believe we don’t need “outside” help to become better people.  However, that is not my truth.  I need, and welcome, the insight of therapists, sociologists, books, music and a variety of other resources to become the best person possible.

In my search for living life in ways that affirm my existence and feed my soul, I discovered some important truths:

1.   It is okay to self-affirm.  Gone is the need to blindly harm the self and its delicate soul.  It is time to nurture, embrace and discover who I am genuinely and give myself some long-neglected, well-deserved, undivided attention.

2.   It is okay to love me.   As a society, we have been taught that self-love is narcissistic and unacceptable.  We have delivered a message that we are too focused on the self and should, in turn, help others so we don’t become self-absorbed.  That is true.  But it is also true that some of us, those of us who suffer from internal brokenness and various forms of woundedness, are unable and ill-equipped to encourage and accept others until we learn how to encourage and accept ourselves.  We are the ones who have no idea how to like ourselves, embrace ourselves and minister to our own soul.  That’s how abusing drugs and ignoring one’s mental health becomes a common practice.

3.   It is okay to take care of me before I try to take care of you.  As I pursue wholeness, I had to begin identifying what I really wanted.  For instance, I want friends, but I am unwilling to let anyone make me take care of them emotionally when I need care emotionally.  I know from costly past experiences that caring for others before caring for me doesn’t work, harms me and leads me into finding new ways to harm myself.  It’s a new season.  I’m not anyone’s superwoman, but I am certainly a Christian.

Love you neighbor as you love yourself is true.  However, much more emphasis has been placed on loving the neighbor once a person becomes a Christian.  And, any signs of external self-care that border on vanity or flaunting of one’s wealth or beauty is frowned upon too.

In reality, flaunting one’s wealth or beauty is really a sign of brokenness.  It is possibly a sign that someone is trying to cover up an internal sense of lack, low self-worth or little sense of value to one’s own soul.

Instead, this new season, for me, is about self-discovery, healing through self-care and improving the ways I understand my life experiences. 

How about you – are you experiencing a new era of existence – a new way of interacting with the world that affirms your presence on earth?  If so, please share your comments.