Barriers to Self-Acceptance

                Years of self-rejection make it interesting, if not impossible, to understand the multiple layers of mental fatigue trapped inside the mind.  Does anyone ask themselves, “Why and when did loving me become unacceptable?  How much value do I place on my worth?  Do I place any value on my own existence beyond a nice outfit or a vehicle to transport my body?”

                A few musings on the subject made me realize, the same barriers to self-acceptance that were in operation my whole life, are still at work today.  The exception is, I won’t be distracted.  Most of my time, energy and resources were spent getting others to like me, when in reality, nothing I did, said or thought was good enough for others, or more importantly, good enough for me.  Is this true for you too? 

                Although I said I wanted to please God, I often rarely consulted God’s guidance when I found myself out of balance while performing too many tasks and fulfilling a lot of responsibilities.

Review this list of barriers to self-acceptance and let me know if any apply to you:

1.       Focused on Pleasing Others.  Accepting myself was next to impossible because my focus was always on others.  I had to please others, my form of loving others, no matter what.  My major concerns were, did I say the right thing, did I do enough favors for you, did I use a lot of my resources to solve your problems while ignoring my own needs?  In the end, these people-pleasing acts left me a shell of a person without any hope for the future.

2.       Beating myself up.  This used to be a favorite pastime of mine.  Constant battering of my own mind, body and soul as if I could mentally bash myself into this ever-elusive place called self-acceptance.  I never did anything right unless I had the approval of others.

3.     Perfectionism.  I think this is the mother of all barriers to self-acceptance.  My own inability to accept my imperfections led to me trying to become error free and blame free.  Now I know, this was an impossible expectation I placed on myself.

Basically, these behaviors and mindsets were a recipe for a few negative conditions known as depression and substance abuse.  My inability to take care of me, for me, caused me to give of myself in ways that really were not available.

Thank God I have learned a few new tools to help me learn how to like me and accept me.  Is this true for you too?  Please, share your thoughts below.