Depression and Spirituality

Three gifts of Silent Solitude

Taking the time to learn about how my mental health and illness impact my life has allowed me to deeply ponder the Word and the image I reflect in Christ.       

Although many Christians would not embrace major depressive disorder as an “approved” illness Christ would assist me in managing, their opinions don’t matter to me anymore.  I tried it their way.  I failed.

Now I am taking a different approach.  An empowering approach.  In deciding to educate myself about mental health, mental illness, balance and self-care, I’ve discovered many precious jewels of Truth revealed in the Word, in addition to discovering gems within my own soul that are resources to assist in my daily recovery.

The Gifts of Solitude

1.     Friendship with the Spirit – Without access to a telephone, cable or even a large network of supportive friends, I was alone many days in silence.  Initially, aware my depression could thrive in isolation, I was intentional about grooming my relationship with Christ and growing spiritually.  Many days and nights were spent listening to sermons, Gospel music and engaging in positive self-talk in order to remain encouraged, uplifted and in the healing process.

The results were tremendous.  I began to see me, a person recovering from mental illness, in the Scriptures.  I began to hear the Word preached in ways that guided me into healing and ministered to my often sad, emotional state.  I wasn’t rejected by God, even though some in the church would have me believe that.  I was accepted by God in spite of any illness that sought to keep us apart.

2.     Friendship with myself – I learned how to begin being happy with me and my own company.  This world is gifted in leading me to believe I need something other than me to find happiness.  Or, I know this is true for me, I used to think I needed other people’s approval to embrace myself or confirm a new path in life.

That’s not true anymore.  Since I have spent so much time with me, I learned how to like myself and enjoy my company.  I started pursuing hobbies that in the past were only sincere wishes.  It is amazing how much money you don’t need to enjoy the world around you.

3.     Peace with others – For me, forgiving others for anything is very important because Christ forgave me for so much.  What is interesting is that as I began to grow stronger within me, by being gentle with myself, I resumed being gentle with other people for their faults and shortcomings.  We are all human, prone to err and in need of our Savior’s redeeming grace.  It’s okay for you to be you because certainly it is okay for me to be me.

In accepting my depression and learning how to manage it, I have moved into a more secure emotional and mental frame of mind.  The Word of God and my faith have ushered me into a form of self-acceptance that was elusive for many, many years. 

This solitude has allow me to accept the fact that I’m different, I’m okay and all will be well.  How do I know?  Because I am created in God’s image and God said so.  My God does have the final say, you know!

Be blessed,

Michelle