Anchored: In Times Like These

In times like these, you need a Savior

In time like these, you need an anchor

Be very sure, yes be very sure

Your anchor holds and grips the solid rock

 ~

Words and Music to In Times Like These

by Ruth Caye Jones

It is difficult to begin a relationship with God while in the basement of psychological and emotional pain.  How can one find a way to trust God when all hope is lost and all that was lost is gone?

Difficult, hard and problematic to say the least. 

I understand the conundrum because when I was in my emotional basement, I was angry at God, questioning the love She said she had towards me.  I was also suspicious of what She said was her nature as a good, merciful and faithful God. 

How, when in a fetal position of depression and paralyzed in my bed, could I turn my thoughts towards trusting God when nothing seemed to be going right in my life?  It is in these difficult times, I need a Savior.  Not a human crutch or just a medicinal fix.  I need a Divine Savior.

I found that to anchor my soul in a tight grip on God to be an act of courageous humility and blind faith.

You see, for me, having a relationship with God is better than not having a relationship with a Divine Power greater than myself.  At least, when I get angry, sad, depressed and upset, I have something to direct those energies toward. 

And, when I am joyful, happy, and playful and mischief, I enjoy the other side of this relationship that tends to bring the same ups and downs common to connecting with others.

           

On this particular day, I am grateful the God I love can’t be swayed or manipulated by my temper tantrums, selfish demands or bouts of sadness.  When my anger turns inward, God is there to remind me to be loving towards myself, gentle, patient and tolerant towards me.  After all, God is those things toward me.  Why can’t I be those things towards myself?

I am forever humbled by my parents and the faith community they raised me in who pointed me towards a God who is greater than I.  This God is big enough, tough enough and wise enough to gently handle me -- remembering I am dust, created in His image and subject to bouts of mania, depression, anxiety and unrealistic expectations regarding my reality.

           

Yet, Her love remains.  It is sure.  It is steadfast and it is eternal. 

            Her presence is my life anchors me.  What I mean is, God’s presence and loving guidance allow my life to have a specific, unique meaning.  A starting and ending point for all philosophical musings, theological wrangling and specific, unique idiosyncrasies. 

It fact, the more life stuff I go through, the more curious I become about His nature.  This helps me remain hopeful because there is nothing about me that God can’t handle.  I am accepted, affirmed and loved – no matter what!

I find hope in this God who created me in His image and tells me, “You belong to me.  I created you, I love you and I will never leave you or abandon you.”

           

My soul finds comfort and peace in our interactions.

           

When tears stream down my face, they fall into a bucket of raindrops – received, nourished and wiped away ever so gently because God really does care for me.  When no one else on earth seems to care about me, respect me, honor me or help me, God lets me know He cares.  And, then God will send someone along to demonstrate just how much he cares.

            My soul is resting.  It is just a blessing.  Praise God, I am free to be me, loved and anchored in the Master’s hands.

Be blessed,

M

Thank You, Lord: A Place in God's House

            One of my favorite Gospel songs is sung by Fred Hammond, Thank You, Lord.  This song has been resonating in my spirit for about three weeks now.  I have to say, “I am so grateful and thankful to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

            Often, when people speak of being thankful, it can be felt by the speaker.  I’m not sure if I can deliver that atmosphere in a blog post, but I just felt so compelled to write. 

The catalyst for my gratitude is I just left a worship experience and faith community that is welcoming, affirming and loving towards people managing their mental health.

            This “outside the box” God that I serve loves me so much that I was lead to read a small newspaper publication announcing a “café conversation” about anxiety.  What started as a curious compelling to partake of the conversation eventually turned into a wonderful worship experience, manna from heaven and a few more people in my support system.

            The shared life experiences of us gathered in the café, combined with a willingness to be transparent, confirmed what I suspected for quite some time – God loves the mentally ill too and makes provision for them in the church.

            If only my African-American faith community could be so open and affirming.  My hope is that one day they will.  But until then, I will focus on being a part of the solution and helping them understand the necessity of their support for people just like me.

            Granted, there are many things I could vocalize complaints.  But, on the eve of my 49^th birthday, I have so much to be thankful for, I prefer to praise God.

            Thanking him for being a partaker of his grace, life, health and strength.  For being there for me and his love being available even when I was going down.  God has been on my side, even when it didn’t seem like it.  My God was surely there.

            Maybe you feel the same way.  Maybe you don’t.  But remember, God’s grace, love and blessing are available to all willing to receive – mental illness or not.  So, join me, if you will, in thanking the Lord.

Be blessed,

M

Accepting Limitations Placed On You By Bipolar Disorder

Accepting Limitations Placed On You By Bipolar Disorder

I think it is wonderful social media is a safe place to learn about other people with similiar mental health challenges.

When I tell people I turn into a pumpkin at 9 p.m., they kind of look at me strange.  I started saying it about 5-7 years ago.  Now, I know why.

Hopefully, this article will help you understand why people like me work so hard to achieve wellness.  It is how we practice loving ourselves.

Be blessed,
M

Depression and Spirituality

Three gifts of Silent Solitude

Taking the time to learn about how my mental health and illness impact my life has allowed me to deeply ponder the Word and the image I reflect in Christ.       

Although many Christians would not embrace major depressive disorder as an “approved” illness Christ would assist me in managing, their opinions don’t matter to me anymore.  I tried it their way.  I failed.

Now I am taking a different approach.  An empowering approach.  In deciding to educate myself about mental health, mental illness, balance and self-care, I’ve discovered many precious jewels of Truth revealed in the Word, in addition to discovering gems within my own soul that are resources to assist in my daily recovery.

The Gifts of Solitude

1.     Friendship with the Spirit – Without access to a telephone, cable or even a large network of supportive friends, I was alone many days in silence.  Initially, aware my depression could thrive in isolation, I was intentional about grooming my relationship with Christ and growing spiritually.  Many days and nights were spent listening to sermons, Gospel music and engaging in positive self-talk in order to remain encouraged, uplifted and in the healing process.

The results were tremendous.  I began to see me, a person recovering from mental illness, in the Scriptures.  I began to hear the Word preached in ways that guided me into healing and ministered to my often sad, emotional state.  I wasn’t rejected by God, even though some in the church would have me believe that.  I was accepted by God in spite of any illness that sought to keep us apart.

2.     Friendship with myself – I learned how to begin being happy with me and my own company.  This world is gifted in leading me to believe I need something other than me to find happiness.  Or, I know this is true for me, I used to think I needed other people’s approval to embrace myself or confirm a new path in life.

That’s not true anymore.  Since I have spent so much time with me, I learned how to like myself and enjoy my company.  I started pursuing hobbies that in the past were only sincere wishes.  It is amazing how much money you don’t need to enjoy the world around you.

3.     Peace with others – For me, forgiving others for anything is very important because Christ forgave me for so much.  What is interesting is that as I began to grow stronger within me, by being gentle with myself, I resumed being gentle with other people for their faults and shortcomings.  We are all human, prone to err and in need of our Savior’s redeeming grace.  It’s okay for you to be you because certainly it is okay for me to be me.

In accepting my depression and learning how to manage it, I have moved into a more secure emotional and mental frame of mind.  The Word of God and my faith have ushered me into a form of self-acceptance that was elusive for many, many years. 

This solitude has allow me to accept the fact that I’m different, I’m okay and all will be well.  How do I know?  Because I am created in God’s image and God said so.  My God does have the final say, you know!

Be blessed,

Michelle

Recovery Day of Prayer

Guidepost Magazine has chosen to focus today’s communication with God in lifting up prayers for those who struggle with addictions and manage their recovery.  The Addiction and Recovery Day of Prayer event utilizes Psalm 147:3 as its scriptural context.

            As I studied this Word, I was delighted to hear my spirit singing praises unto God for His goodness.  The psalmist wrote this kind of praise is beautiful and fitting.  And, since I am a person in recovery, praising God is very fitting and appropriate for deliverance from the bondage of addiction.  In fact, even in maintaining my deliverance by strategically remaining in the recovery process is worth praising God too! 

            It is excellent and appropriate to praise God when those who have been afflicted (broken hearted) are healed.  The inner heart does experience brokenness that is so deep and hurtful that some people turn to self-destructive addictions to cope with the pain, the trauma and their reality.  Oh, how deep pain can run.

            So we pray that the God who rebuilds, gathers and heals will restore and recover those who are broken.  We humbly ask God to heal the wounds of the afflicted by placing bandages and salve on their private, damage innermost places. 

Oh, God, only you know their unique pain.  You hear the specific sounds and words trapped in the tears and angry words of each star you have created. 

Please, as we lift up each star by name today, heal their secret and public wounds.  Help them gather together the disconnected pieces of their soul.  Guide them into safe places where they will find strong systems of support for their recovery.

            You, you alone have the unlimited strength to perform such great and marvelous acts.  In fact, your greatness is so incomprehensible to us that when we get to see fallen stars on their feet again, we are utterly amazed.

            Nevertheless, we will sing praises before, during and after we watch you miraculously deliver our loved ones from addiction.  We know we can depend on your supernatural strength to reclaim those that are lost and make firm their footsteps.

            In Jesus’ name we pray…Amen!