Trust, Betrayal and Mental Illness

Supporting Our Loved Ones in Healthy Ways

Andre Lyons is bipolar.  He is one of the intensive, multi-faceted characters portrayed on Fox’s new hit TV show Empire.  The fact that mainstream television has taken society’s secret and put it front and center in our homes each week is refreshing.  But the truth is many families deal with bipolar, and other mental illnesses, in secret.

Mental illness in the African American community is probably one of our best kept secrets.  Either we face it with denial or tend to make it a completely “spiritual” issue.  Truth is, the frequent mood swings, outbursts of anger, long periods of being unproductive and/or using marijuana or other substances to self-medicate, are common.  The fact that black people suffer from biological dysfunctions is true too.  And, coping with life’s major events in addition to oppression, parental issues plus financial concerns make us just as susceptible to illness as anyone else. 

However, as the media is known to do, they have sensationalized Andre’s on screen meltdown and accused his family of betrayal.  They accuse his family of betraying him because they saw Andre in trouble and involuntarily signed him into a mental health facility.

Betrayed?  Why aren’t we examining their actions as an act of love?  Is it possible the family’s deep-seated love for Andre compelled them to ensure his safety from himself and protect him from harming others?

In one Empire showing, Andre had at least two “episodes.”  He is a tall, strong black man, who happens to live in America.  Would you want to be trapped in an elevator with him alone while he is having an episode?  What would your first reaction be?  Let me guess – call the police.  I don’t blame you either.  One of my adult children has the same disorder.  I recently informed him I would put him in the hospital if he couldn’t control himself.  This awareness made him angry.

But when a mental health consumer, like Andre, makes a poor decision, i.e. to stop taking their medication, the family has one of two choices:

1.     Volunteer for bizarre, unexpected behavior that harms both the mental health patient/consumer and anyone they potentially come into contact with, thereby, demonstrating their ability to threaten the well-being of others; or

2.     Ensure the safety of everyone involved and let the medical professionals treat our loves ones, thereby, affirming the value of the lives and safety of all involved.

Television has certainly evolved and is doing an excellent job bringing the stories and issues central to the African American community and other communities to light.  However, my hope is that we, as intelligent, caring, proactive humans, can ignore the media’s need to sensationalize an important and emotional issue and seek out the proper information to both help and protect our loved ones – thereby ushering them into a place of healing and wholeness. 

Michelle Baynes Owens is a freelance writer who lives in York, PA.  She runs a blog on the topics of depression, recovery and spirituality at http://michellethemystic.blogspot.com/

The Haves and Have Nots

Learning to be Content to Manage Depression

Philippians 4:11-13

Being unfamiliar with the television show bearing the same title, I courageously decided to title this post.  The main idea of the post is how is it possible for some people that suffer from chronic depression to feel sad and others don’t during the winter months?  The answer I suggest is spiritual in nature – not biological.

Shorter days and colder nights can be a great sources of strain for people.  Combine the external environment with regularly scheduled bill payments, daily parenting responsibilities, employment and other tasks and it is clear how difficult it is for some to maintain peace in the midst of life’s storms.

In fact, anxiety and fear are the normal states of existence for many people with a mental health condition.

Yet, I have peace today.  Unlike any other winter prior, I have joy and a sense of happiness that is permeating and coursing through my body, mind and soul.  However, I am keenly aware of those who have not this sense of peace.

What I can say about depression is it is a tricky disease.  One day a person feels great and one week later, their entire bottom has fallen out and there is no sense of stability inside the mind, body or soul.

Certainly, I do believe a person’s external environment contributes to their sense of emotional stability.  I recently moved and immensely enjoy my new home.  However, a friend of mine recently lost his primary source of income.  He doesn’t feel so happy these days. 

The internal environment is often connected to what happens outside the body.  However, I am a bit convinced my internal happiness is not based on my external circumstances.  Maybe I am in denial.  Or, maybe I am in a state of complete acceptance about the material possessions I lack and their overall importance to 1) meeting my basic human needs and 2) affirming my worth in the world. 

Maybe this is what the Apostle Paul meant when he said, “I have learned to be content, no matter what state I am in.”  (Philippians 4:11-13)

Content in the Greek means to be satisfied; without discontent or dissatisfaction in the soul.  So, Paul learned (and wrote about it) and I have learned and now write that learning to be content is a process that occurs uniquely for each person.

And, if truly learned, it is possible contentment is a prerequisite for happiness.  Kind of like one pillar in the foundation.  Alongside it are the building blocks of acceptance, gratitude and faith.  A keen sense that trusting God for the things we cannot see to be in place when necessary, helps us gratefully accept our current situation and rest in the Maker’s arms.

I have peace today.  And I pray for those that have not.

Seek Wise Counsel

 Finding your Way to Wisdom in a Noisy World

When imbalance, anxiety and confusion rule a recovering person’s thoughts, it is hard to know who to trust.  In fact, when to trust can be confusing too.

Stuart Miles

For many people recovering from mental illnesses and substance abuses, the God found in Christ is their Higher Power.  Granted, some people are even open to the idea that God speaks through people and events.  That means the silent questions on our heart are unexpectedly answered in conversations with others.  An answer is also found in a poem, bumper sticker or the words of a song.   

And, when in recovery, there is a growing awareness that we need to be guided into a new way of thinking and living in order to stop harming ourselves, or, at the very least, ignoring our needs.

That’s why prayer is two parts:  talking and listening.  While we can ask God questions and share our concerns too, it is also important to know (discern) when God is answering.

Since being wise is defined as having the ability to make a good decision, the Word of God is a good place to search for guidance on who and when to trust others for advice. 

This article on How to Seek Wise Counsel is a good place to start.  But what was equally important in my recovery was trusting my own inner urge, my instinct or some would say, my inner voice. 

Gently and ever so softly, I can hear my soul speak.  It is guiding me to a place or a person that has information, awareness, comfort or counsel.  In other words, I am being guided to a healthy source.  This Source is designed to 1) help support my recovery; and 2) affirm my existence on earth.

Maybe it is an urge to go to an AA/NA meeting.  Maybe it is a knowing that my therapy sessions should be increased.  Or, it is this strong impression that I should not go to the mall today, but instead visit a friend.  Whatever we come to know in our soul is what we should do, the message communicated will line up with God’s Word.  And, God will come by and let you know he has confirmed those specific instructions when someone else confirms what you heard God say.

God will never guide us to lie, cheat, harm or steal.  In fact, God’s thoughts of peace towards us are designed to bring us to an expected end – a place of his choosing that is fruitful.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

Yes, seek wise counsel.  But know that God needs us to participate in the process too.  Take time to discern what God is saying to you (Proverbs 1:5) and then discuss it with those wise people you trust (Proverbs 11:14) to confirm the path of righteousness we are destined to travel.